an exploration of Goodness

I find it is true that if time and energy is used to unravel what is seemingly impossible to untangle, and then even moreso difficult to communicate, let alone, convince someone else your perspective holds honor, nothing is achieved accept for continuous thought at a specific level.

An exploration of Goodness, I feel, in my own life, is what has juxtapositioned my thinking, for the most part, allowing my thoughts to soar, my mind to expand, increasing my happiness, and allowing me resolution of the why of human experience.

When I think of Jesus, during the time he lived, people truly had faith if they touched his cloak they would be healed, if his eyes met theirs, they would sorrow no more, and if he approached them illness and death was shown the door.

And what these followers of this great man did, was simply explore Goodness, and have faith in what it can restore.

If my focus today, right now, is on the crickets song, the lovely blue sky, and the quiet rhythm of my fan, the knowing my heart is at complete rest and peace, and the hearing of an occasional bird's song, this does more for me than interpolative response to my world.

At work, a saving grace for me in the ER is simply to make an effort to actually enjoy space and time with a patient. To know this person as a Source of Love, and commonality in my life, and that there are no chance encounters. I savor the Moment.

Questions, I feel, about life should be asked. But, for me, I ask them in contemplative times with the Holy Spirit. I am convinced once the question is well formulated, it is because the answer has already been given. No question arrives in my mind, whereby the answer hasn't been specifically made available, as a clear thought in my mind. Thus, the whole purpose of the question itself.

Denial is a refusal to listen to the answer.

There is no need to grope around in the dark, no need to simply wait for the Holy Spirit's Voice, no need to simply float around in existence, instead a decision to be an effectual being in regards to an exploration of Goodness has outcomes, which not only transform a life to Life, yet, has the potential to blanket the world with Love's response.

Living isn't for the non-thinking mind, and a life not examined isn't worth living. Yet, it's the kind of thinking in my mind I find of value, which is making the difference. There are levels of thought, as stated by the Course, and also Master Thinkers. Staying in one place in regards to thought, attitude, and response, serves absolutely no good purpose. Jesus asks me to go beyond what meager thinking would have me do, and have some faith the Holy Spirit, as Guide, will always be present in my decision.

And it all begins with a decision to view what has worked, is working, and honestly appraising the outcomes in my life. If what I am doing today isn't causing my thinking to expand my mind in ways once thought not humanly possible, I need to rethink with whom I am associating, how I am spending my time, and what choices I am making, for it is these which are the determinators, as to whether I am exploring Goodness, or simply wasting time.

Goodness leads the way to an intelligence of a sort, which has nothing to do with being well-read, but an intelligence spoken in the Book of Record, and heralded by Jesus, as the way to personal Atonement, and perhaps even more. Creativity arises from this intelligence, and the way I am finding this is through a decision for concerted effort with Goodness. I don't demand perfection of myself; I have made a decision for walking in the right direction, however.

Functioning in the world yet not of it, for me, is about focusing on this exploration, and then, all the rest of my life comes to mind in perfect perspective, all in good order, and everything easily accomplished.

Jeanette

one who walks

A personal testimony of self-empowerment

Several years ago I was completely burnt out at work, and then broke my ankle. My world was beating me down, I thought, and I didn't like the experience. What my world was telling me was change was in good order, and it was time I stopped working, sat a spell, and focused on an ankle. I made a transition in my life from frustration to a completely different sort of visionary outlook, based upon the foundation of talents I held inside. Further, I began to understand the meaning of "walking through a portal," even as I could hardly walk at all at the time.

I decided to take a job in the ER. I had great foundational skills having served in ICU/CCU, took care of heart transplant patients, and more. Yet, I wasn't a pediatric nurse, and my skills in orthopedics were definitely rusty.

Yet, nothing ventured, nothing gained. And when my ankle began to heal, I was just so happy I could walk on my own two feet again, I was ready for the change.

I studied, I learned. I wanted to be the best I could.

Yet, I found the ER frustrating, the relationships hazy, the crazyness well apparent, and I didn't know what to do. So I battled inside for a while. Unfortunately, during that time was when I made the serious mistake of a relationship whereby my love partner found doing battle, and grievous thinking, finding the world was terribly wrong and needed correction, a mainstay in his life, and so, the "battle-syndrome" seemed to generalize everywhere into my life. My own projected thinking was drawing towards me exactly what I asked for.

After that fiasco, I did some thinking. And I had some loving friends and family, who were listening. Much Gratitude there.

I began to think of my life in the ER as being where I should be. After all I was placed there for good reason and sense, as I had been asking for a complete change in my nursing career. But the middle of the ER, I thought? And all these confrontational relationships? What??? "I want to work in a frame shop," I thought, and "get out of this altogether."

I then began to think in terms that my role in the ER was about *me.* I was to use this experience in close introspective experience, and ask questions, constantly, of Jesus, as he directed me to right-mindedness.

Every confrontational relationship I had I began to think, "What is this For?" What about *me* is this telling? What outcome do I seek? What past thinking is this relationship bringing to Light?" And so it began from there, an honest, clear, and steadfast, daily, if not hourly, decision to truly understand my own personal spiritual evolution, and what I needed to learn.

It worked. Some of the answers were simple. As in: "If no one wants to accept your report after 12 hours, continue to work." Seems easy enough, yet, initially, my ego wanted to get out on time, for fear of being tired the next day with all my then consuming tasks (that all changed, too).

What I found in this daily, ongoing practice, whereby I switched my thinking from being a doormat, a kick me sign, to being of service to myself, ultimately resulted in better service to everyone else, and my world began to reflect back to me a level of respect I didn't expect in return. Oh, I thought I'd become more satisfied, but recognition for my decision? Well, I hadn't considered that.

I received several large raises, which nearly tripled my income. I actually began to see the light in the eyes of those who I found were "unfair" and "injust," and found myself developing friendships. And I found great self-fulfillment in my work, due to the fact I broke the boundaries in my mind, crawled out of that box, as to the response I was giving on the job in regards to my limited definition of what I would and would not tolerate. On receiving direction from Jesus, towards the thoughts of right-mindedness, my on the job working experience changed dramatically. And I asked *nothing* of anyone else. This was all about my own personal, working, interpersonal peer relationships, and decision for more intensive forgiveness in regards to patients and their familys.

The first year wasn't easy. I considered it "sacrifice," but actually I was sacrificing nothing, yet gaining everything. I stayed out of the drama, yet offered utmost respect to those who found games and manipulation heralded their way of thinking. I didn't confirm what they were doing, but I didn't allow it to interfere in the work of service I was performing, and I got off this feeling that I should have meal breaks, get out on time, and blah, blah, blah. I gave it to God, and am still healthy and alive.

I let all my standards of a decent working relationship with my employer go. I let all my preconceived notions as to what my co-workers were about go. I let all my past thinking as to what nursing was about go.

And what occurred, was a peace in my heart, which replaced all egotistical wish for personal on the job "victory," and a willingness and Strength from somewhere else from something else to Do more. To effectively be what I wanted to be, a damned good ER nurse.

I don't tolerate abuse. However, I also don't get involved with the dramas, which are the feed for abuse. I take my work seriously, and am studying for my national certification. And I have a lot of joy and happiness, laughter and fun, at work. I also get tired sometimes, and am working on ways in which to increase my energy, and potential, to accept Strength from God.

I needed to shine. I needed to polish all the foundational tools I had for the tasks assigned. I needed to be a more willing individual. I needed to allow my talents to flow, unobstructed by the dramas, and attention seekers, on stage in the ER. I needed to allow feeling and emotion to rule my way, in contrast to logical and intellectual thinking, which simply got in the way. These were the fundamentals of my transition. And they were all about *me.*

Last week I was offered, out of the blue, a position in the ER, which pleases me. My hours will change. No more late night work. And I will continue to do what I do, yet, within me, I know I have grown. I have made good friendships with the people I felt were indignant to me, and I have earned their respect.

The generalization Now, as opposed to the past "battle-syndrome," which I attracted quite acutely, is Love. Living in the Now, I learned, wasn't about denying the past, it was about accepting all that I said and did, and being desirous of transformation. It did matter what my past was, because only on this recognition, could my present change. And I needed Jesus in that corrective process, and I found he was there for me. The transmutation of the present doesn't occur, unless I am willing to look upon the past, and bring it to Light for the process Jesus clearly teaches.

I love my work now, every minute. So much so I work a lot of overtime. And my source of Joy is oftentimes with those who I once found to be contrary to what I felt was of human decency.

Last night, I had a patient who was a near code. When I declared, "Get the code cart!" several of my peers appeared. I saw the group work, I saw the unified presence, I saw the family in grief, wondering what they had done "wrong." And I saw the Vision of a group of beings wanting to allow Goodness to be expressed, and my patient survived, woke up, and opened her eyes.

Later, I made the decision to be a Teacher of God, and this has had the same outcomes in my personal life, as did my response in my working environment. And I am going to continue in this direction. David Fishman is using my work on my blog for teaching purposes with his following. Now that's a confirmation I find most pleasing, and validates I am walking a pathway of more meaningful life experience. I find validation effectual for one another, as we make choices, and look upon our world for signposts along the way. And there is nothing like an affirmative response from someone I respect that challenges me to do more, and better. And I will.

Life I have found isn't about living under a rock. Humility isn't about denying yourSelf. Humbleness isn't about pretending to be 'quietly spiritual', because happiness and Joy leading to elation is seen as something less than worthy. Authenticity isn't about wanting to intervene in the world; it is about a courageous willingness for change within. And strength has little to do with what the ego can muster; it is about a direct relationship with God.

Overall, It was all about *me.* And I found I work with a group of people, who given the opportunity to see what I am capable, now consider me a worthy, and well respected, member of the team. Upcoming, one of the doctors is joining us in having some fun. Amazing, no, miraculous.

Jeanette

one who walks

The intelligence of the meek

The intelligence of the meek is noted by the thoughts they aspire, which clearly differs from the intellectual pursuit of a mind that seeks to find answers in materials that redundantly makes promises, but never truly delivers. Words are commonly used to attempt to heal a division between what is divine and ordinary; however, never quite makes the goal so set, and often times makes the chasm even wider. Heaven waits quite patiently, as the meek feel their way from imprisonment to freedom by spending time with a Voice, which is extraordinary and wise.

The wind in their inner sails is the breath from God transpired only upon their decision. They know the flow of Love, they feel it in every inspiration, and release its overwhelming exuberance in all they do and say. Their vessel becomes so full of God's wishes; they offer their gifts to lessen the burden. Take my riches, take my finery, seems to be the voice of the meek, as they can no longer burden themselves with temporary measures of stalemated happiness. They create in order to make a channel for Love, and their truthful creations are well noted for the story they tell, passed from person to person, village to village, they resound with metaphor of God's Good Graces.

They tarry not over lessons, or intellectual quest, yet see God in The World, as created by Him, inclusive of bird's song, the Sun, and the Moon.

They feel as a part of God, yet as individual as a snowflake in winter, a drop in the ocean, a grain of sand on the shore, and a flower in the garden. They know of their creation, and how Universal Love sent them to their destination. They are never alone or wanting, for God goes with them wherever they go, and they are embraced by His Declarations.

Their passion is due to their flame within, which gains momentum from every choice and decision, lighting their pathway, as their abundance in love is freely given in every step they take, through forgiveness of what was, to acceptance of what is. They know their direction. Their passion welcomes relationships, and recognizes the truth of their brother's existence. They enjoy the touch, the voice, and the comforts, of human interaction. Any fear they encounter is laid aside to make room for Understanding.

As the Sun shines upon them with their Thoughts aligned with His, their world no longer remains a mystery, as they know the Kingdom within. They understand the world they made, and the happiness upon its achievement. They realize God's World reflected in co-creation. Nothing apart from, yet everything equally loved, and potentially as able as God's Son teaches. They have little desire for making temples or castles on Earth, yet hold firm to the Thought their true residence and work resides in the eyes of those who would seek to follow their vertical steps towards a higher order of thinking, and awareness of what eyes on God can Do.

No common intellectual study can bring them to the place they hold in their hearts and mind, yet only a choice to fully realize their influence and power, as prayer becomes the medium for the Source of a message so potent it brings the meek in full willingness to their knees.

On doing so, the Book of Life is given to them, the Wisdom of the ages, and the potential of all knowing in the Now. Freedom becomes their daily existence, regardless of experience. They have left the study, yet have become an adjunct to its celebration. Their mind serves as recipient, their heart as gateway, and their body as means, while they simply demonstrate to the world the endlessness of possibility.

The intelligence of the meek, having forgiven common thought away, and entered a place of total surrender, where the question is answered "Who Am I?" simply continues on its way. Nothing is needed in the life of the meek, except a new day, and a decision for Love, which effortlessly sends its message to a mind so prepared the veil has been lifted away. Every answer is given, but even moreso what is truly of value accepted, the stranger no longer walks in a strange place, but finds himself at the door to Heaven. Only God can take the meek for the final step, until that time, they simply enjoy what time is for, a celebration of Life and acceptance of His Vision.

Jeanette

one who walks